Do you get how many second thoughts I have when I start a post? It's so much hassle for the brain to decide how to start and what to talk about . I mean, of course it's hard when there's nothing eventful worth sharing(being a student) , but then again a blog is for expressing and letting out things isn't it?

Anyways, so many things happened this week. 

-well every week I say the same thing because (think about it) we're all growing teens, we're exposed to LIFE, where we realise and notice things; for the first time in our life. First times are still on-going for us, I guess. 

I finally handed in my coursework (for my exams) - the biggest project of my life done over the period of 8 months or so, with oh-so many changes together with the best guidance we could ever get. 

However, I've wanted to give up before and even during the course of it. 

I've always thought -'why put in so much effort when we don't even know if I can pass?' I've come to a realisation that perhaps as long as I've tried my best (And stopped procrastinating) and accept reality, the whole process provides so much lessons and skills . I guess the biggest gain is endurance and appreciation- and the people that surrounded me of course. 

My work (obviously) wasn't the best (far from good actually) but the thing is that I've benefitted from it , I mean, isn't it the whole point of education? Teaching and learning? 

Well it isn't for me to say, so I shall stop this here. I'm just glad I've taken art. 

I have a bottle obsession . (Self-proclaimed) aha 

Anyways I am still anticipating for the future as before. My thoughts still flow like the niagra falls. 

I've just came across the most uplifting song for the week( or month perhaps) . If you don't know me, I don't have a distinct genre of music that I particularly like. The day before I was blasting songs by the Carpenters in my room. It was so good. Then the other day I was jamming to chill step while doing mathematical sums. But there's nothing bad about it right? or is there..

(From www.dreammoods.com)

 Cliff

To dream that you are standing at the edge of a cliff indicates that you have reached an increased level of understanding, new awareness, and a fresh point of view. You have reached a critical point in your life and cannot risk losing control. Alternatively, it suggests that you are pondering a life-altering decision.

To dream that you or someone falls off a cliff suggests that you are going through a difficult time and are afraid of what is ahead for you. You fear that you may not be up for the challenge or that you cannot meet the expectations of others.  

To dream that you are climbing to the top of a cliff symbolizes your ambition and drive. The dream may parallel your desires to achieve success and to be the at the top of your profession. It is analogous to climbing the corporate ladder. 

Dolphins 

To see a dolphin in your dream symbolizes spiritual guidance, intellect, mental attributes and emotional trust. The dream is usually an inspirational one, encouraging you to utilize your mind to its capacity and move upward in life. Alternatively, it suggests that a line of communication has been established between the conscious and subconscious aspects of yourself. Dolphins represent your willingness and ability to explore and navigate through your emotions.

alright moving on, I had a vivid dream the other day- the only scene I could recall was that I was walking through an edge of a cliff, there was somehow a mini-puddle like river that was bright baby blue, almost turquoise.
I was following a man, whom face I never knew. then- suddenly there was a pod of dolphins leaping by the left, they were actually smiling ( somehow) and that the waves crashing were euphonic .
But there was this particular fear which I cannot distinguish.
Then the scene zoomed out (to bird's eye view) and the whole cliff ( actually come to think of it its like a mountain terrace but just beside the sea and that it held a stream of turquoise water instead of plantation.) ok back to it, the whole cliff was shaped like an airplane.. The whole zoomed out scene was like a news report . I remember seeing red, literarily.
That's all I can remember..
what does it mean?


alright, till next time X

I've realised that in my blog I'm just stating about school school and school.

Well, I haven't blogged for months and I thought, why not write something? (I should be taking a power nap though) 

Anyways, about school, it's been a long long 8 months or so in school, sometimes I ask myself- is it really that intensive? I keep telling myself (or perhaps bluffing) that I'll do better, I'll study next time for mid years, for prelims but it's all over now. What do I get? An aggregate of 19 and 24. Is that good? Nope. But have I improved? Yes. 

You see as long as I'm improving, I'm contented. Of course we all aim for the best (ie: I really want to get into psychology) but sometimes it's not possible, given our power and circumstances- Time, effort, maturity, and many others. 

Perhaps I'm not making any sense, but I'd like to wonder, how is this whole thing gonna benefit me in 10'years time. 

I don't see the picture. The future's all furry and blurry ( well of course it is, who knows what's gonna happen?) 

I guess this year's the busiest and the "realisation year" for now aha 

I've been thinking much more, I always thought I've been over thinking about things, but now I'm thinking what I'd never thought about. The future, I've seriously started thinking about what I want to do, what I want to be. (Though it's still furry, but at least I know.) 

It's kinda funny thinking that I had no idea what I honestly wanted, (even though that may not be practical//possible, but it's still a dream isn't it?) 

No one knows about this, or perhaps the only person I've said might have already possibly forgotten. 

Whatever revolves around my brain is just me me and studies. I've been neglecting (almost) everything and that costed (perhaps) my friendship and ties with everyone. But then again I realise who's true and who's not. Those that're worth  time and effort will stay no matter what. I'm just this self-centred nowadays who gets annoyed by everything but this whole journey allowed me to get to know more company, which I'm really thankful of :) 

I guess that's it for now, I've just written whatever's on my mind and that perhaps no one would understand but whatever it is , it's still my blog :) 

Till next time!

-I miss this sometimes.