BandSation

okay guys this is gonna be purely a post about band. I've warned you.

So, I've recently just changed my flute yeah? to the new 102025. Its my first time using it together with the full band, together with the conductor.. and its much more easier to blow now. that's what I think.. But MrW 's saying I can't play enough. I can't blow out more. But I think I've improved ever since I've started using 102025.. I have a junior who's a 8 grader flautist. She plays better than me.. like duh. and MrW says I need to play better than her if not she's gonna play my part.. Maybe he's only pushing me but nevertheless, I'll try my best. I'll never give up.
Talking about trying, don't I seem that I'm trying to improve? I've gotten feed backs that I talk really soft and SLOW and I don't try.. But its really not easy. I'm trying my best. I'm still young as a leader and I'm still learning. You see, some things I can catch it real fast but I have no idea why I can't seem to learn as fast on this matter.. Its really hard. I'm really slow. I'm just.. myself.. why can't I be independent like the other leaders and learn fast and be more.. proactive. I'm trying. but sometimes, I'm just lost for words, IDK what to do at times.. My mind just go poof. Blank. Someone help me? How do I prevent all these from happening? How do I improve?? How? How? how. I get 'scolded' frequently and all.. well not exactly scolded but yeah.. How do the other leaders do it?? Were they like this when they started off? Did they go through all these? I know it was hard on them too before cause they didn't have such good seniors to guide them through like what we have now. But they did well.. unlike me, still hanging and struggling there..
and whats more, I have school work to cope weak.. I guess this is my worst assessment I've ever fared. I failed EMATH AND SOCIAL STUDIES, and only one A1 for History which is gonna be pulled down due to my social studies. How do I cope with all this stress? Can't we just study now and have like what? A few years to cultivate our CCA? I don't really get time to rest, to play, to enjoy like last time. It's all gone.. at least until my O's are over. WHICH IS I HAVE TO HANG ON UNTIL THE END OF NEXT YEAR.. :( Life's saddening, Life's stressful, Life's just life. We needa accept it and learn how we can go on.

xxxSammyyyyy